I think it's time for a change in lifestyle.
Does anyone ever feel like that? Like all of a sudden you need to completely change how you're living and what you're living for?
To be specific, I kind of think I need to change my friends.
It just seems like most of my friends are either really bad influences, or they're dragging me down and keeping me down. For example, one of my friends is smart, but he never applies himself and I pretty much had to coddle and mother him through 8th grade so he would (barely) pass. He reads this blog so he knows I'm talking about him. My other friend is always depressed and anxious, and when I give her advice she does the exact opposite and ends up causing even more harm to herself and others. There are more, but I won't get into that.
It seems like I'm not a friend to them, more like a mother or a soundboard. I don't mind being a soundboard sometimes, but it becomes a problem when it's the only reason we talk. I deserve more than that.
I need to realize that I'm not everyone's savior. I can't constantly try to fix everyone's problems to the point where I forget to take care of myself, which I have been doing since 5th grade. I'm in 9th grade now, and I'm exhausted. I don't want to leave my friends. I love them. But I can't let them drag me down, especially when I have voiced how I feel, multiple times I may add, and nothing changes. And I let it be that way because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm done with that.
I can't kill myself trying to make people's lives better. I just can't.
I'm done trying to.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Inside Out And In My Head (SPOILERS for Inside Out!!)
So, today has been a thoughtful day.
A friend and I went to see Inside Out today, and I was just expecting a quirky, fun movie for kids or tweens. And it was, but...it was also so much more.
Inside Out pretty much gives you insight into the emotions of a girl named Riley. Joy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Disgust. Joy is the main emotion of the operation, and Sadness is always pushed aside because they see her as a bad emotion that should be used hardly at all. A lot of stuff happens, and Joy and Sadness are stuck in long-term memory, leaving Disgust, Fear, and Anger by themselves in Riley's head.
In the beginning of Joy and Sadness' journey home, Joy writes Sadness off and doesn't let her do anything, like she has been doing since the beginning of the movie. Then, throughout the movie, Joy is faced with the idea that maybe Sadness isn't so bad, and she may need to give her a little more credit.
(MAJOR ENDING SPOILER AHEAD!!)
When Joy ends up in the memory dump, and now she's sad, not able to feel the Joy in the situation. She looks at one of the memories, and as she replays it, she sees that Sadness had to happen for the memory to be joyful. So then she realizes that she needs Sadness. That Riley needs Sadness.
Okay, so I bet you're trying to figure out what the point of this is, huh? Well, let me get right to it then!
In Inside Out, Joy is the prominent emotion in Riley's head, correct? Well, for me and I'm sure for a bunch of people, Sadness run supreme. And for a long time, I treated it like the rest of the emotions treated Sadness; with slight annoyance and attempts to squash it as must as possible.
This movie helped me realize that I don't have to always squash it; sometimes, Sadness is the only way for some Joy to come in. Sometimes, being sad is a good thing, and now I don't feel so bad when I'm down in the dumps, because I remember that this movie taught me that all of my emotions have a good purpose.
A friend and I went to see Inside Out today, and I was just expecting a quirky, fun movie for kids or tweens. And it was, but...it was also so much more.
Inside Out pretty much gives you insight into the emotions of a girl named Riley. Joy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Disgust. Joy is the main emotion of the operation, and Sadness is always pushed aside because they see her as a bad emotion that should be used hardly at all. A lot of stuff happens, and Joy and Sadness are stuck in long-term memory, leaving Disgust, Fear, and Anger by themselves in Riley's head.
In the beginning of Joy and Sadness' journey home, Joy writes Sadness off and doesn't let her do anything, like she has been doing since the beginning of the movie. Then, throughout the movie, Joy is faced with the idea that maybe Sadness isn't so bad, and she may need to give her a little more credit.
(MAJOR ENDING SPOILER AHEAD!!)
When Joy ends up in the memory dump, and now she's sad, not able to feel the Joy in the situation. She looks at one of the memories, and as she replays it, she sees that Sadness had to happen for the memory to be joyful. So then she realizes that she needs Sadness. That Riley needs Sadness.
Okay, so I bet you're trying to figure out what the point of this is, huh? Well, let me get right to it then!
In Inside Out, Joy is the prominent emotion in Riley's head, correct? Well, for me and I'm sure for a bunch of people, Sadness run supreme. And for a long time, I treated it like the rest of the emotions treated Sadness; with slight annoyance and attempts to squash it as must as possible.
This movie helped me realize that I don't have to always squash it; sometimes, Sadness is the only way for some Joy to come in. Sometimes, being sad is a good thing, and now I don't feel so bad when I'm down in the dumps, because I remember that this movie taught me that all of my emotions have a good purpose.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
#DearMe
So I was doing my usual thing, lurking around on the internet for something to do. I found something on Youtube about #DearMe, where you talk about what you would tell your younger self. Since I hate having my picture taken, let alone talking to a camera and posting it online for everyone to see, I decided to type it out and let you guy read it and see what you all think.
Dear Me,
What's up, Wallflower? This letter is coming from your older, not cooler, and still kind-of-a-loser self. Look, I know that things are getting hard and I know how you feel, and you need to pay damn good attention to this letter. Whatever you do, put down that silver. Don't start scratching. When you cry, don't muffle it. When you wanna scream, do it. Don't lock yourself away. When you're hurting, say something. When you wanna hurt someone, hurt your pillow instead.
Write what you feel. Don't hate yourself. Don't think you're nothing. Don't ignore your loved ones, and don't make them hate you. Reach out to someone who needs you, and to someone you need. Don't burn all your bridges. Don't build too many walls, because eventually when you have too many, even you won't be able to break through them. Don't be afraid to tell people what you're feeling. Don't be afraid to let people know who you really are. Show who you are before you forget. Because if you don't, you'll turn out like me, still trying to move past all my walls to find who I really am.
Please, please, please,
Remember that you're loved.
Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
Dear Me,
What's up, Wallflower? This letter is coming from your older, not cooler, and still kind-of-a-loser self. Look, I know that things are getting hard and I know how you feel, and you need to pay damn good attention to this letter. Whatever you do, put down that silver. Don't start scratching. When you cry, don't muffle it. When you wanna scream, do it. Don't lock yourself away. When you're hurting, say something. When you wanna hurt someone, hurt your pillow instead.
Write what you feel. Don't hate yourself. Don't think you're nothing. Don't ignore your loved ones, and don't make them hate you. Reach out to someone who needs you, and to someone you need. Don't burn all your bridges. Don't build too many walls, because eventually when you have too many, even you won't be able to break through them. Don't be afraid to tell people what you're feeling. Don't be afraid to let people know who you really are. Show who you are before you forget. Because if you don't, you'll turn out like me, still trying to move past all my walls to find who I really am.
Please, please, please,
Remember that you're loved.
Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Testing
Okay, if you're like me, last week and this week are the weeks for testing. Since my school had so many snow days, we're still testing. Ugh. I mean, I have no problem with tests, it's more the hype that comes with them. Don't know what I'm talking about? Let me explain.
Alright, so imagine you walk into class. Math class, science class, English class, any class! The teacher is standing in the corner, rocking and chewing on their nails while their hair's a mess. "THE TESTS!" they scream. "THE TESTSSS!"
...
Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it may as well be that bad. Teachers are giving you extra homework, yelling at you, and practically shoving the importance of this test down your throat! By the time you get to the test, you're a nervous wreck! In my case, the Language Arts test was only 7-9 questions. Each. There were 3 sections, and we had and hour to an hour and a half for 7-9 questions. Are you serious?
Then on the math, those people had the nerve to put a question on there that was Calculus! WE HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED IT YET! Jeez, why did they think we would know how to answer that? Unless we have a mathematician that I'm not aware of!
Okay, but besides all that, tests really aren't that bad. Good luck everyone! Remember to study, but don't stress yourself out! I know you can do it!
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
Alright, so imagine you walk into class. Math class, science class, English class, any class! The teacher is standing in the corner, rocking and chewing on their nails while their hair's a mess. "THE TESTS!" they scream. "THE TESTSSS!"
...
Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it may as well be that bad. Teachers are giving you extra homework, yelling at you, and practically shoving the importance of this test down your throat! By the time you get to the test, you're a nervous wreck! In my case, the Language Arts test was only 7-9 questions. Each. There were 3 sections, and we had and hour to an hour and a half for 7-9 questions. Are you serious?
Then on the math, those people had the nerve to put a question on there that was Calculus! WE HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED IT YET! Jeez, why did they think we would know how to answer that? Unless we have a mathematician that I'm not aware of!
Okay, but besides all that, tests really aren't that bad. Good luck everyone! Remember to study, but don't stress yourself out! I know you can do it!
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Self Righteousness
Why is it that some people think that they can point out the flaws in everyone and anyone around them, yet change nothing about themselves? I mean, come on. No one's perfect, and if you pretend you are then that's just it. You're pretending. Now, I don't wanna get into anything personal, but let's just say there are a few members of my family that either think the world around themselves, or they think that they have some sort of right to criticize me when they are worse off than I am.
You know what, I am really sick of this, now that I think about it! I hadn't realized how heated I was until I started typing. I guess this needed to be typed. I'm not sure why I decided to type this, I just knew I needed to say it. Now, I'm used to having crappy stuff said to or about me. It happens not only as a DUFF, but as a person in general. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
What even makes people think that they have a right to act his way? Do they have a giant ego or do they think they're all that? Do they think they're helping? If so, then they really need a reality check. I don't even understand the mentality of some people.
Well, that's all. It's not much, but it's something. I know I don't have any readers yet, but I'm trying to build up some sort of an archive for when/if I get some readers.
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
You know what, I am really sick of this, now that I think about it! I hadn't realized how heated I was until I started typing. I guess this needed to be typed. I'm not sure why I decided to type this, I just knew I needed to say it. Now, I'm used to having crappy stuff said to or about me. It happens not only as a DUFF, but as a person in general. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
What even makes people think that they have a right to act his way? Do they have a giant ego or do they think they're all that? Do they think they're helping? If so, then they really need a reality check. I don't even understand the mentality of some people.
Well, that's all. It's not much, but it's something. I know I don't have any readers yet, but I'm trying to build up some sort of an archive for when/if I get some readers.
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
Introduction
Hello, my name is Melody. I'm 13, and I'm a DUFF. I never really called myself that until now, but I'm glad there's actually a title. At first, it bothered the heck out of me. Why me? Why did I have to be the designated ugly, fat, friend? I was outraged, insulted, and just plain upset that I had a label like that.
But after a lot of crying, a lot of thinking, awesome friends and the influence of a certain movie, I'm proud of being a DUFF. This blog will be here for DUFFS to connect and share their stories in the comments. That is, if you want. The main thing I've come to realize as a DUFF is that it's all about perspective. DUFF is only a bad thing if you look at it that way. Personally, I like being a DUFF because I find it much more satisfying to surprise people with my awesomeness, when they think I'm going to be lame. When my awesomeness shows, there's no stopping this DUFF!
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the summary of this whole spiel. This blog will talk about and reveal all the things that a DUFF such as myself goes through on a daily basis. From epiphanies, to life lessons, to rants and everything in between. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm not ashamed about being a DUFF. In fact, I'm proud of it! I'm not starting this thing looking for sympathy, or concern, or anything like that. I'm starting this because I want other DUFF's out there to know that there's nothing wrong with being a DUFF. Woo, now that that's all said and done, I have to bounce! Yes, I know this is a short post, but it's just the introduction! The posts soon to come will be longer, funnier, and hopefully way more inspiring!
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
But after a lot of crying, a lot of thinking, awesome friends and the influence of a certain movie, I'm proud of being a DUFF. This blog will be here for DUFFS to connect and share their stories in the comments. That is, if you want. The main thing I've come to realize as a DUFF is that it's all about perspective. DUFF is only a bad thing if you look at it that way. Personally, I like being a DUFF because I find it much more satisfying to surprise people with my awesomeness, when they think I'm going to be lame. When my awesomeness shows, there's no stopping this DUFF!
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the summary of this whole spiel. This blog will talk about and reveal all the things that a DUFF such as myself goes through on a daily basis. From epiphanies, to life lessons, to rants and everything in between. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm not ashamed about being a DUFF. In fact, I'm proud of it! I'm not starting this thing looking for sympathy, or concern, or anything like that. I'm starting this because I want other DUFF's out there to know that there's nothing wrong with being a DUFF. Woo, now that that's all said and done, I have to bounce! Yes, I know this is a short post, but it's just the introduction! The posts soon to come will be longer, funnier, and hopefully way more inspiring!
-Embrace The DUFF Inside,
Melody
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